Toronto, Canada—UPF-Canada, Central District held its monthly meeting for Ambassadors for Peace on October 17, 2015, on the topic, “Family Life in Marriage.”
Auth. Qamrul Khanson, the recording secretary of the Central District, served as emcee. He introduced the main speaker, Dr. Tyrone Childs, an educator who has dedicated his entire life to interpersonal relationship development. Dr. Childs is also a life coach and the director ACARelationship.com, an online relationship training course. He has received community service awards in recognition of his work to foster community relations and for his dedication to public service.
Dr. Childs spoke about marriage, saying: “Marriage remains one of the most important social institutions in Canada, but overall the marriage rate [in the country] is declining and the traditional portrait of a family is being transformed. Marriage is an important element in human life yet our incompatibility leads to 40% of the marriages ending up in divorce. The traditional definition of family is changing in Canada, with four in ten first marriages ending in divorce, according to a new study. We just have to come to grips with the diversity that actually is within our experiences. Then we need to find ways to address and take on the challenges that face families, but do it in an inclusive way that makes sense for the reality and not some ideal notion of what a family is or ought to be.
Whether marrying for the first time or fourth time, whether celebrating a special anniversary—a marriage is exactly as Dr. J. Allen Peterson, [a nationally recognized marriage and family life specialist], described. Most people get married believing a myth; that marriage is a beautiful box, full of all the things they have longed for: companionship, romance, sexual fulfillment, intimacy, friendship, laughter, financial security. The truth is that marriage, at the start, is an empty box. You must put some things into it before you can take anything out of it. There is no love in marriage; love is in people, and people put it into their marriage. There is no romance in marriage; people have to put it into their relationship. A couple must discern what things work to improve their relationship and form the habits of communicating, giving, sacrificing, sharing, loving, touching, serving and praising. In other words, keep the box full. If you take out more that you put in, the box will be empty!
As [UPF founder], Rev. Sun Myung Moon mentioned, the perfection of a man and woman's love in marriage is the perfection of the universe. If we understand the meaning of marriage divinely, then our attitude, behavior and our smaller steps in correction would lead to accommodation of bigger love in marriage and that would be the sanctity in marriage and in recognition of God.”
Dr. Auckberaullee, co-chair of UPF-Canada’s Central District, spoke about marriage in Indonesia. Indonesian marriage law states that a marriage is legitimate if it is performed according to the regulations of the religious beliefs of the husband and wife. Unlike other countries, Indonesian law has no provision for non-religious civil marriages, but marriages last long and the divorce rate in the country is low.
Mr. A.R. Qureshi added that intercultural marriage has an extra set of dynamics. Many questions arise: Will our families understand one another? What will be the spousal roles? What differences will we encounter with food and meal preparation? All would be alright if the marriage box is filled with common values, companionship, romance, sexual fulfillment, intimacy, friendship, laughter, and financial security—and freedom to practice beliefs.
Rev. David Stewart, a UPF lecturer, spoke about a recent study that shows the success rate of marriages to be 68% for both compatible and incompatible marriages, which indicates how much marriage boxes are filled.
Rev. Mitch Dixon, co-chair of UPF-Canada’s Central District, spoke about the upcoming National Peace Conference, “The Quest for True Canadian Values.” The event, which will be held at the Sheraton Ottawa Hotel on November 13, is being co-organized by UPF.