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R. Pels: The Importance of Family
Written by Dr. Ruta Pels, Chairman, People to People, Estonia
Thursday, April 2, 2009
The family is a cell of society. It was written in many textbooks when I studied at school. Our generation was educated in very strong family-based values. Respect for our mother, father, grandmother and grandfather was unconditional and unquestioned.
Unfortunately, all family-based values are in danger. The new generation is independent and oriented to values based on mass media, TV, cinema and the Internet. On one hand, it is good to have more information than we had in our age, but on the other hand, most of the news and movies are rude and full of violence and bloodshed. The value of human life has become very low now, and many children and youth have no sense of the importance of human life. It is so easy to kill people, Only mothers and fathers can explain to children the meaning of giving birth and raising up good and smart children.
As a mother of two sons, I know very well the strong influence of media and the Internet on children. Modern schools cannot help create God-centered values; families have to do it, very often without help from the state. Only religion can help them on this hard way.
Because of that it is so important to have strong personalities around us. Rev. Dr. Sun Myung Moon is one of the greatest examples for young people. He and Dr. Hak Ja Han Moon, along with members of their family, exemplify a strong family and demonstrate the importance of family values.
When the family as an institution is in crisis, they are touring the world declaring “God’s Ideal Family and Peace Kingdom.” They have had a big influence on nations, families and individuals throughout the world. I was fortunate to listen to Rev. Moon, Mrs. Moon and Hyun Jin Moon speak in Tallinn in 2005 and 2006. Their message about family values, true love and three generations living in harmony touched me very much.
One of the most important things is the explanation of the parentchild relationship as the fundamental relationship between the Creator God and human beings; they define the parent-child relationship in terms of love, life and lineage. People generally understand what love and life are, but it is so important to explain that lineage is more important than life and more important than love. I realized that life and love come together to create lineage. Lineage cannot be established if either life or love is missing. Therefore, among the three qualities that define the parent-child relationship—love, life and lineage—lineage is the fruit.
It is pity, but people of my generation in post-Soviet countries do not know about their great-grandparents, so millions of people do not have roots and lack the knowledge their grandparents had. In a similar way, with the loss of lineage at the fall of Adam and Eve, true life and true love never matured. We believe that it is possible, although not easy, to reestablish the original family.
Rev. Moon wrote: “Extreme selfish individualism threatens our prosperity even today. We deem young people to be the hope of humanity holding the promise for the future, but drugs and free sex enslave them. Advanced countries seem to believe that material goods are all that matter. They recognize only their own interests while ignoring the misery of tens of thousands who die of starvation every day.”
The family members can explain to children the need for solidarity between poor and rich, old and young, and healthy and sick people. Only God-centered values and social values help to change the attitude of children toward the important things in the world. But parents can teach children if they are educated themselves, if they love each other and share family values and God-centered values.
It brings tears to my eyes when I hear descriptions about three generations of a family living in harmony: Parents and children live in service and attendance to the grandparents as the historical root of the ancestors. The family sets the pattern for living together in harmony. The family wherein parents and children love and respect each other, husband and wife are grounded in mutual trust and love, and brothers and sisters trust and rely on each other, and all live together as one, is the model ideal family. This means that you need to establish a true family wherein the stem of true love emerges from the roots of true love and bears the fruit of true love.
I dream that my own family can be like this when I become a grandmother!
Unfortunately, because of World War II, I did not know my grandparents and I have no sisters and brothers. I appreciate my husband, sons and mother very much. Among these three generations we can create good relationships and share love and knowledge.
There are many men and women in our country and others who are living together as partners, but true family can be based only on marriage. It is great when people from different nations can become husband and wife and make a family. My husband and I are from different countries. I understand very well that it is not easy to create such a family because of prejudices. We had to explain to our relatives and friends that it is great to have family as we do. Our children can be citizens of the world, not only of one country.
Many other political and religious leaders speak nice words about peace, but they do not do anything special to promote peace and understanding. Words without action are nothing; they do not make changes in the world. If thousands of people follow God-centered family values in their daily life, they will make changes in the world. Starting from own family as a cell of society, all together we can do great things.